I don't care, I don't mind.

And that's a lie. I do care. I do mind. And what am I referring to? I'm referring to what happened in my history class today. I had to present my paper on the Council of Chalcedon, as well as offer my position on it. The Council of Chalcedon met in 451 to declare Jesus' being after three separate "heresies" commited by three different men who had three different opinions on Jesus Christ's person. Essentially, the Council of Chalcedon declared that he is one person, but with two natures that exist ever so nicely. Why? Because he's fucking Jesus Christ and they couldn't have their savior anything less than perfect: human AND divine. Right. Well, in my paper, I stated MY opinion. And no opinion is wrong...right? I stated that I did not believe in Jesus as a divine being, just as an historical figure who made up a new set of guidelines for Judaism...which later became one of the most popular religions in our galaxy...but whatever. And after I presented the three heresies, my professor asked me that if I lived during that time period and had to choose which one I thought was most accurate...or what I'd want to believe in. And I never thought of it that way because in my paper (which he had read already) I stated that I did not follow that jive. And I said Nestorianism which essentially states (in crazy Christian's minds) that Jesus is schizophrenic, with two personalities in one person. And he wanted to know how I could believe that Jesus was schizophrenic and I said that I don't believe in him that way anyway, but what makes the final solution of the Council any better than a schizophrenic Jesus? And my professor laughed and seemed to agree. But then my own personal beliefs came into play because it was mentioned that I do not believe in Jesus as divine, only human. And it came up that I am basically an athiest because I always wondered what makes my religion correct and everyone else's wrong (with other theological debate, of course...but I never intended to offend anyone in the class). But people were offended with my statements. Even the professor. And it seemed that I was under ridicule for my beliefs. I wasn't prepared to defend my personal opinion on God and organized religion and I was honestly taken aback with it all. especially my professor, a man of Theology, who should be understanding of all points of religion...even those whom don't agree with religion at all. And someone asked me if I had done my research on my own religion since I had done so much about other religions. And I said no. But why should I? If I believe what I believe (with other convictions, not just what came to me as a thought in 9th grade APP World History) why am I being attacked? If I sat up there and said that I was a Protestant, and believed in Jesus' humanity AND divinity, and I believed in God and that God would save me from my "sins" then no one would question me beyond why I agree with the Council of Chalcedon. But no. Because I openly admitted to atheism and not believing in salvation (what am I being saved from anyway?) and organized religion, I deserved to be poached. Well, fuck that. And my professor even said that I wasn't compassionate and caring because i wasn't a christian...and I was about to bust a cap in his mother fucking ass. I probably have more compassion in my pinky toe than half the people have in their entire bodies. I care so much about people. So much. To the point that it makes me physically ill. And he had the nerve to state my inability to care and be compassionate because I didn't believe in a higher being. Fuck that shit. I am soooo pissed.

It amazes me how open-minded I can be toward other people, regardless of their religious convictions. Even though the beliefs of many in my class are openly stated, I still don't think that they're bad people. Why? Because it's what they believe in. It's what they want to believe. And why should my belief be any different? I am my own person. I am a human being. We are all human beings. And we are no better than anyone or anything. I do not believe in a higher being that will save me from myself. I am not my own savior. I am no one else's savior. I am me. You are you. The end. Why was that so hard for my professor to grasp? Fuck him. I was so angry after my "presentation" that I felt like walking out. But I didn't want to make a scene because it would be hard not to. A girl who sits next to me even apologized for the attacks made on me. And when it came up that I was born Roman Catholic, someone seemed relieved. And that I only made these frivilous choices because of the religion I was "brought up" with. That anyone who is Roman Catholic would feel this way about religion. And poor girl, if she were brought up another denomination of Christianity, she wouldn't feel this way about life. But what THE FUCK is wrong with my philosophy on life? What? What the fuck is it? Huh? That I think everyone should be respected, treated equally, loved, supported, and cared for, despite their fucking religion or race or whatever other bullshit. I'm so angry. I'm going to spit nails allover some bitch's face.