I ain't gonna take none of your foolin' around

So once upon I have a headache and a backache. I have these two aches because I was hit in my rear. The rear of my car, that is. Yes, it seems that I am an accident magnet while good songs are on. My very first accident, Sexy Back was on and now I cannot listen to that in the car while driving. My first rear ending, I dont recall what was on, but I'm sure when it comes on I subconsciously freak out and that's why I slap Andrew in the face. But this morning--7amish to be 'exact'--I was rear ended at the intersection of 112 and Woodside. The boy (and I mean boy) who was driving was paying attention to the man yelling at him in another car and not me, listening to Creedance Clearwater Revival's "I Put a Spell on You" just waiting for the light to turn green so I could get gas and then drive home and nap before driving out to Riverhead. But that didn't happen because, as I said, he wasn't paying attention. And apparently (I wasn't in their car, afterall) he slammed on the gas instead of the break in a panic when he saw me stopped and hit me in the behind. I'm thinking he was going at least 25ish, maybe 30ish, give or take--but I ain't no expert on this shit. And I was completely stopped. Just listening to groovy tunes, debating on what to listen to next. Yeah. Well. I hit my head on the sun visor thing so now I have a headache and I'm currently debating whether or not the pain in my back is a temporary case of insanity or if it's an actual issue that should be looked at by a medical professional. All on their insurance OF COURSE, because, as we all know...Reptar don't got no health insurance to pay for that shit. So yeah. I was just given my $25,000 check for school yesterday and it figures something like this would happen, so by chance I would have to spend it on *this* and not school. But let's not get carried away! I got books to read and notes to take. Not to mention the tests I gotta pass to study some shit that really wont make a difference anyhow. Something a little funny about this whole thing though? It all goes back to Sexy Back because I say so. I had my kangaroo full of cd's in the car last night and Andrew found the cd with Sexy Back on it--and its presence did, in fact, grace Chunk's musical slit...though I did not play it except to pass it. So it is JT's fault. But now that I think of it, was my kangaroo in the car the night of my first accident? And second? Because maybe it's that fuzzy marsupial's fault and not Timberlake's. Either way, I just want kisses and a hug. Pretty please? With sugar on top?

I got my cat moves

That so upsets them

Zippers and buttons

Fun to frustrate them

They get so angry

Like pouty children

Denied their candy

I laugh right at them

Dad would dream of all the different ways to die

I want to cry for the world sometimes. Don't you? Don't you feel a burden resting in your chest because the world is in such a state? I feel like it's partly my fault for not doing more to begin with. I should just help people and hug people and know medicine and every language so I can teach people how it should be, not how it is, and then people would smile more and help others more and teach others more and then the world would be better. Because it all works like that. It always starts with one person and it spreads. It spreads like wild fire. I want to be wild fire. Don't you want to be wild fire? I pity anyone who doesn't want to ravage the world with kindness. Everyone should want things to be better for everyone. I'm sad for this planet and every living and non-living thing here. But looking back at history and the progression of the human species, it is inevitable that we would do. The earth knows how much we suck. The earth knows it has to cleanse itself of the evil it has supported over the billions of years. Mother Earth is like a single parent kicking the loser child (us) from the basement and into the real world. Only the "real world" is death and basement is the planet. I guess Mama Earth is commiting suicide to feel better. We are a horrible cold that she can't kick so she's kickin' the bucket instead. And it's all our fault because we didn't want to do better for eachother. We all suck.




built a tower tumbling to the trees.

It's so sad to see the world agree

People amaze me sometimes.

A paranoia has washed over me like waves over already wet sand. I am wet sand. The kind that gets stuck between your toes and feels mushy. And you hate it. So you step further into wet sand to reach the waves that will wash it away, but then walking away from the waves, you only touch the wet sand again. I am a vicious cycle that repeats. I am disgusting and I never have a point to me. I am told I deserve only the best. Do I really? Sometimes I feel like I am just a human who deserves to be treated like a human, not treated like the best. The best what? The best human? We're all fucking equal, man. We all deserve to be treated like the best. And we're fucking not because we're too busy hatin' on shit. Wow. This all turned into shit that it should not have. Anyways...

I'm happy. And I feel fulfilled and ready to take on black. Because I am light and light overcomes darkness. Doesn't it?

I need to get shitfaced. I dont want to feel anything but heat in my legs. No more heat between my legs.

Fuck you.

dream

Sometimes you just dont feel good enough. Sometimes, no matter how much you preach self-love and self-respect--and no matter how much you feel it--it's never enough. Just feeling wrong in your own skin and feeling like you're the most disgusting and pathetic thing that God created. And yes, God created you because it's His fault for you being this way. He wanted you to be disgusting. He wanted you to hate yourself and how it feels to have someone else's hands on your skin. I'm all for the human form. I'm all for being expressive wiht your body. But I'm claustrophobic with my own body. I just can't do it. Not "it" but it. So shut the fuck up. I just want to be like a beautiful song and not be judged for having honest and raw lyrics. I just want to be beautiful. And better than beautiful. I dont want a word that can describe me. I just want to have that it factor.

I dont know how I feel about people sometimes.

I just want to give kisses.

Celebrate, you and me, climbing

Two by two, to be sure

These days continue, things we cannot change

I shall

I dont want to exist on the internet anymore. I just realized how utterly creepy it is, ya know? To just have a website where people can see you when they want, talk to you when they want, think of you when they want. To talk online and not see the person you are talking with. People take advantage of people online. Having all of these accounts online means I am losing touch with people, ya know? I am focusing more on non-existant socialization than going out there and being productive. I think it's fucking ridiculous. I want to banish from Facebook and Myspace, this and other websites. I dont want to be here anymore. No one should be here anymore. We should all be doing other shit, like riding bikes to gardens and having picnics in front of a field of wildflowers. Not posting bulletins and sending Facebook bumper stickers to show that you care and exist.

conquest

When will the fighting end? Can we give peace a chance? Too many people dying. Too much violence. Too much bloodshed. War in Iraq, tensions with Iran and North Korea, genocide in Darfur and North Korea, bombings in Georgia by the Russians, murdering at Olympics, fighting in Sri Lanka. Like seriously? What is this world coming to? Complete shit that's what. No one wants to chill out. Everyone uses their guns and bombs and kills someone who disagrees. I dont understand these concepts, ya know? It's fascinating what human beings are capable of. Why are we killing eachother off like this? We have been co-existing on this planet for too long and it's about time that we all die and start over again. Isn't that terrifying? Instead of being rational, we hate and kill. How can we be a superior species of animal if we're more barbaric than our fellow furry friends? We as humans are not better. We declare war on other countries knowing that it willl harm millions of other people. We dont like a specific group of people so we rid of them like fleas. We are greedy bastards who care too much about power and we will stop at nothing to show this power. I am just tired of all of the violence. I am frightened at how inhumane we all are. I am terrified that people are hardened by such news these days. Bombings in foreign countries doesn't seem to phase us as much these days, ya know? Like, "Seventy people in Georgia died because a bomb was set off? Oh, hhmm. So anyway, about this itch I have..." It irritates me to no end that we behave like we do. And I know not everyone is like that. I for one am not. I dont kill people because I'm a greedy, power-hungry, possessive asshole. I have too much compassion for other humans to even think of harming another. I just want to help everyone, ya know? Just make them feel better, even if for five minutes. Even if I lied and told them everything would be okay, and they were smiling as someone shot them in the head, I'd think maybe they died with happiness or hope. And that is important. It's always the peace-keepers that are killed though. And that, even moreso, shows what kind of species we are. Think of those in our history who wanted nothing but peace for the fellow man and were killed for it. It's too radical. It's too freeing. It's too scary to live in a place where no one is hated and everyone can just chill and drink and hang with peeps. We can't have people who get along in this world. It's filthy, isn't it? We are ending this world. We apparently want it to end. We kill eachother. We kill the planet. We kill ourselves.

All we are saying...

...Give peace a chance

It's the best I had

Once upon a time

There was a cone

And it saw this mom

And this mom took pots

And told herself to stop

All the drinking

And to stop all the ticking

And she killed herself

With a blunt object

To her throat.

And her kids saw the blood

And they tasted the metallic in the air

And for once in their lives

They knew how to hate.

And the cone

Lived happily ever after.

I just can't take this

My new blogs are so shitty these days. It's disgusting and you should throw up everywhere.

Oh, and welcome to August.