I'm up on him, he up on me

If I could be anyone else in the world--beside myself--I would be Beyonce. And, honestly, who fucking wouldn't? She is way talented, smart , confident and way beautiful. And I'm listening to the song Single Ladies on Youtube (duh!) and someone said that Beyonce has huge thighs...what the fuck? She is HEALTHY. And she looks healthy. Sorry if her legs aren't stilts, asshole.



***



I can tell that Ryan loves me. It's in the little things that you can see it most. It's like saying "I love you" isn't enough. Those three words are like the thesis and all of the little things are the quotes and statements that prove that remark. Anyone can say "I love you" but love is only certain in the little doings. And I know he loves me. It's a fact that he loves me. I guess all of those love songs are correct: it's in his kiss. And the way he hugs, cuddles, tickles, touches and caresses me. It's the way he pushes my hair out of my eyes and the way his fingers run through my locks when he's kissing me. It's the way I catch him smiling and gazing at me when we're in the car at a red light. It's the way he will do anything for me, no matter how out of the way it puts him. I can tell that he loves me when I wear my hair a different way and he smiles and his eyes get wide. When he says I'm beautiful over and over again until I no longer tell him to shut up, when he calls me just to hear my voice because he misses me. How he still holds my hand while he's driving, even though his left hand is tired of steering and is on the verge of falling asleep. Tonight, we hung out in his car for about half of an hour because we both knew Victoria would be in the room and we just wanted to be alone. And we sat in his car, in the cold, and watched the world go by...listening to The Beatles, of course. And, randomly, I said we should have a contest to see if we could last a week without kissing one another anywhere. And he seemed truly bothered by it and was adamant that he couldn't and wouldn't be able to last a week. That he has to kiss me when he feels like or else he will go crazy. So, instead, we opted for ten minutes. And once that was done, and we kissed for two minutes or so, I asked him how it felt to kiss me after ten minutes. And he said that it felt like breathing after staying under water for too long. And I thought that was the cutest thing. Mostly because it is! I guess he and I are a living testament to online dating, eh? Not that we are the first, and I'm sure we won't be the last, but we're like those couples on the TV commercials that talk about meeting one another. And looking back on the online thing, it was fucking crazy and I guess I was too young to want to make an account to meet men. But, hey. The okcupid thing is just like meeting someone randomly by the chopped meat in Stop & Shop; you know very little about them but ya take the chance anyway. And, as long as you're careful about talking and meeting people, then I guess you can get lucky. I mean, Ryan still may make me chopped meat one day, but as of now I'm willing to take that risk.