Crawl inside

I have half of an hour until I have to go to class. I have my sex class and my LGBT class. Overall, not a bad day. I had math earlier and though that's a different story all together, it's a good day. It's not too chilly out, I have two decent classes left and then I'm off to the gym and then dyeing my hair. My roots are coming in like a mother fucker, so it's imperative that I get that radiant red hair back again.

I've been going to the gym again. Basically on the days that I do not see Ryan, I do some shit at the gym. Not anything too strenuous yet, but just getting myself to feel less bulky. Essentially, I eat out seven days a week. Ryan and I go out to eat when we're together and then it's campus food which can be just as bad as going out to eat, ya know? And I feel unattractive, so I go to the gym to get some sort of attractive shape to my frame. I thought about it, and if I actually tried (like REALLY tried) to lose weight, I would have a bangin' body. I think I have a semi-small frame underneath my flesh. Maybe I'll be a model with all of this weight I won't loser.

I feel like I need to do catch-up with this blog today....what else?

I am coming home again this weekend because Ryan still has to have dinner with my parents. I'm coming home Friday night and leaving Sunday afternoon (I have work). I also wanted to go home so that I could let Victoria have the room to herself for a day or so. I feel badly about her not having her own space (especially when boyfriend is over) so a night where she doesnt have to worry about our shit might be semi-nice of me. It's worth a shot, right? uummm....

I've been thinking about going blonde again. Maybe after I dye my hair red, and let it fade a bit, I'll go a dirty, dirty blonde. I miss the blonde hair more than I miss the long hair. Red is fun and it was different, but I want a change again. And I feel like I have the freedom to dye my hair whatever the fuck I want. It seems like my mom cares less and less about what I do with my body, ya know? It's okay to have sex, it's okay to drink 'til oblivion, I can dye my hair whatever I want. Oh, freedom. I love living away from home.

I have to buy warmer clothes. I ordered a sweater online but I tracked it today and it's apparently on back order. So I probably won't get it until it's too cold out to just wear that. Fuckin' shit. Oh well. But I need warmer clothes. Nothing here really suffices, ya know?

I want to go to the gym now. Not wait until 7pm to go. I just want to feel better about myself. I'm doing it for me.

Uhh....yeah. This was a pointless blog that I'm sure people skimmed through. Nothing frantastic in this blog. Nothing life changing. Just me thinking out loud about all of the things I have to do coming up.....shut up.

And I took out my tongue twice removed from my face

Across a bridge and across the mountains

Threw a nickel in a fountain

To save my soul from all these troubled times

And all the drugs that I don't have the guts

To take to soothe my mind

So I'm always sober