Kitty licks my cheek once more

Death grips at your chest when you always go looking for it to happen. It's suffocating. Death's fist takes hold of your lungs so you feel like you can't breathe. And then it strangles your heart so you go numb for lack of blood flow. Legs are weak so you want to fall and arms feel like lead. Death ties you up and keeps you prisoner. We are all prisoners of Death. It's our one guarantee about life. We may not know anything for certain, but we do know that we will die one day. Make the best of it, right? Death is a fear that we all have once someone close to you dies. Just a fear that it'll come knocking on someone else's door and you'll be left with heavy arms and tight lungs. Again. How much of that shit can people handle? It drives one insane, right? Afraid of the love that you have disappearing. Death leaves a dark lingering fear in all of us and we dont even know it. Death and I are under this little agreement. I dont mind It and It doesn't mind me until something happens and I fear that I took life for granted again. Death happens. And that's okay. I'm not afraid of being alone, I'm being afraid of being alone with the feelings that Death brings. It gets easier. Without a doubt. Easier to handle losing one thing when it's happened before. The gaping hole just gets bigger and more awkward to live with. But it's also easier. The first death is most difficult. That makes the initial hole. Every tear beyond that is just adding to what you already know how to feel. It is like a knife to the throat. The sharp tip presses up against the neck, waiting to break skin and make blood slither down to the floor. And that first experience of Death is just as sharp as the tip of that knife. And it's as painful as it digging into your neck. And it's as obvious as the scar that it leaves behind. Oh, Death. How much of a tease must you be? Just slit my fucking throat already.