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I think college will destroy me. It's going to make me someone that I don't want to be. In our Lost Generation class we began talking about Gertrude Stein and ended up discussing how college fucks up artistic creativity and, instead, harbors the conventional by demanding everyone to seek money and suburbia. How true is that? After college I'm not sure I want to settle down with a safe life. I want to be in college; I feel like it's one of the best learning experiences that one can get from life, however I don't want to be tied down with expectations after college. It is assumed that I will continue studies, intern, find a man, get married, establish a career and pop out three children with startling typical features. Just so I can be like every other leech that slowly slithers on this planet. No. Not me. Part of the reason I can't figure out what I want to do with myself is because I'm not sure I want to do any one thing for my life. Do I want to teach my whole life? Do I want to practice medicine my whole life? Do I want to work in an office for the rest of my days? No. Honestly, after I graduate, I'd like to do a real study abroad and live on each continent and work my wayto the next place. I want a love affair with Cyril in Jerusalem, then with Santiago in Barcelona. I want to work on farms in Asia and shop in Indian marketplaces. I will learn the native dances in Kenya, then waltz on over to Greece for some wine and philosophy. I'd like a camera around my neck and just take pictures of a pretty Australian sunset or Croatian children at play. Then when I'm sick of it, I'll find a career that I want to pursue (perhaps even with the degree that I paid for!) What is so wrong with defying such standards of American culture? Absolutely nothing. Or at least it seems so... most people go to college to make money on the other end of it. But what if you want to study something and then just chill out? I know plenty of people who went to college (and are geniuses) and are happy as dog walkers or free lance photographers. College is never a waste of money, even if you come out of it in debt with no career to show for it. College will destroy me and put me behind the white picket fence with every other Tom, Dick and Nancy.

I have listened to The Beatles 'Michele' about six times so far. I can't get sick of it though. It's so simple and pretty and romantic.

I'm still sick but it's not as bad as yesterday. I'm trying to chill with the drugs right now...I've taken like twenty-eight pills over the past three days, so I'd like my body to use it's own defense system now. I might even go to the gym tonight? Only light stuff because I want to keep moving and being active. I feel great working out so much and with Karen, ma gym boo =). No one there is as hot as us. No one.

I'd like to take a nap. Why? Because I'm Fran. It's just what I do.

I'm sick of guys. You have no idea...

Good afternoon. Perhaps we can hit it up later?

<3