changes

This is all happening too fast. It's Friday. People are leaving and I wont see them for a very long time. I really can't handle picking up and leaving the place that I have made a second home--with people that I have made a second family. This is all too ridiculous and it's unfair. And it's unsettling to not come back and have the same moments as I've had this past semester with Dave, Karen, Eric and Sam. It just won't be the same and anyone who says otherwise is foolish. One of those things that I can look back on and smile about because each person that I have met here will hold a place in my heart forever. I will smile and laugh about the good times I've had here. And without the people that I've come in contact with, I would not have found my way out of the hole that I had dug for myself two years prior. So much laughter. And tears from laughter. And memories on the Hofstra campus that I cannot let go. We were all friends despite our differences and we all deeply care for one another, regardless how often Eric tells me to jump in front of cars on the Turnpike. I dont know how I am supposed to say goodbye to these people, knowing very well that the next time I see them, we will all be different and our personalities Freshman year will not be the same the next time we meet. However, they are all special, and I will miss them dearly. And I will even miss my roommates because I like to think that I have taught them something as much as they have taught me. Maybe they won't realize it now, but maybe one day they'll go "ohh!" and smile for me. And I will miss 525B. It's been my (loud) home, but a home nonetheless. A place I could come back to and smile about. It was my domain, sorta, and it symbolized my independence from home. I still remember my first night sleeping in the room, my walls bare and my hopes high. I was so nervous about what Freshman year would bring, but it was alright because I had these walls to come back to. A haven if you will. Even if I didnt make friends, I still had a place to be my own girl in. I can say, despite how corrupt Hofstra is, and how much New College screwed us over, I do not regret Hofstra and even if I have to take extra classes to make up the credit difference, I will not be scornful. Freshman year has transformed me into the person that I lost. And into someone that I knew I could be. Yes, it made me crazy. But college is crazy. And the memories are crazy. And I love it.

Peace and love, for real real this time.