apricot

Apricot is a pretty word, don't ya think? Just say "apricot" out loud and agree with me. Don't worry if you're reading this in the library, while your roomie is napping or you're in church (a wireless house of worship?) while the man of God is speaking to the tentative audience about the damnation of hell and the negro race. Just say it, please? I think it's one of those nouns that can be used as an adjective. Like people use other nouns: "Aren't you pretty as a peach" ; "Aren't you just as cute as a button" ; "You smell like a bed of roses." Can't I describe people like apricots? Can't I say that someone is apricot? Not like an apricot but an actual apricot because apricot sounds like a word to describe someone's beauty, or their appearance: "You're totally fuckin' apricot right now" ; "Those panties are apricot." Not just a delicious fruit or color. My cousin Jen used to call me Begonia when I was little because she thought it was the most beautiful flower in the garden in the backyard, and she thought I was the most beautiful girl. So why can't I do the same with apricot? Maybe I can call my Brookie, Apricot, like Jen called me Begonia. Granted Begonia sounds much more exotic (and an actual name) as opposed to Apricot, but to me, Apricot is beautiful. So shut up. Ya'll don't fuckin' know me.

Last night was a good night. And let me tell you why...as though you had a choice. First and foremost, The Office came back last night and it was totally cool stuff. It wasn't THE funniest episode ever, but I chuckled over it. I never tire of Jim's facial expressions and Dwight crying over Angela was great because Dwight is mah fave (by the way, Rainn has seemed to age mucho, right?!). Michael and Jan had a dinner party and only couples were invited, so Jim and Pam and Angela and Andy were there. And, oh boy, let me tell you, it was AWKWARD! Dwight showed up with his babysitter because he wanted to go but needed a date, Jim tried to fake a flood in his apartment so he could leave, and Michael and Jan fought about candles and the Dundies and Jan even threw one at the plasma TV and the cops came. Yeah, it was good stuff.

Well, after The Office, Dave and I flipped channels but pretty much wound up watching NBC. I got hungry, as did Dave the Lobster, and after I convinced Dave that I would not rape him while we were out alone (he was totally waiting for Eric to come back...haha) we went to Kate and Willy's. And then Dave suggested it while my mouth was full of chicken tenders. He suggested that we visit Sam's room in C-square to see if Eric was there. It's really easy to break into C-square apparently. We walked behind a dude who lived in C-square and since not everyone has to swipe their card, as long as the person in front of them is capable of opening the door, Dave and I achieved the first step. We were on Sam and Eric territory. We headed toward Hampton House (I hope Sam doesn't mind me giving out her living situation) and I was a little angry that there wasn't a drunk girl who lived there couldn't figure out how to swipe her card, or that people were smoking, or chillin' in the common room...because how else were Dave and I to get in easily without standing outside the house? Well, God really wanted Dave and I to accomplish our goals because the two girls walking behind us lived in Hampton house. They swiped us in and he and I walked behind these two chicks...all of the way to Sam's door. What do ya know, they were Sam's suitemates! And they left the door bolted open. I tell ya, God wanted it. Oh crap it couldn't have been anymore perfect. Dave made me go in first and I stood in front of Sam's closed door. He followed and told me to knock. KNOCK, KNOCK, KNOCK once. Nothing. KNOCK, KNOCK, KNOCK the second time. Nothing. KNOCK, KNOCK, KNOCK a third time. Nothing. Shit, what a let down right? We made it all the way to her fucking door and she isn't there (nor Eric) to surprise with our beaming, innocent faces. Well, Dave tells me to see if it's open. And I think, Hey, great idea because I wan't to leave her a note so she knows that we broke in. Usually her door is locked so when the door knob actually turned, I was shocked as shit. And Dave just pushed the door open. And what do we see? Sam with no shirt, Eric with no shirt or pants and some leather swing suspended from the ceiling. No, not really. If we did, that would have been ten times funnier. But we did see Eric and Sam sleeping and their utterly shocked and sleepy faces when a burst of light exploded into their dark hole of a room. And Dave was cackling to himself up against the wall and I was like, "Oh shit, Eric is half naked and I just woke them up." And I dragged Dave out of the hallway on my way out and we laughed all of the way to The Netherlands about their faces and Eric being in his panties and Sam all like, "wah?" It could not have worked any better, honestly. Jesus really wanted us to walk in on them because her suitemates were the ones that got us into Hampton house AND her suite....and her door was actually unlocked. Jesus loves me and Dave. Why? Because we are friends with Jack Daniels. That's why.