I have noticed the official shift in friendship back home. Nothing is the same, but then again, I never expected it to be. Jon drove me out to Patchogue last night for Jen's 21st birthday. And I felt out of place. Besides the fact that I was the only singleton at the table, surrounded by couples and Melany who has Paul in NC, there is a world that exists when I'm not around. Shocker, I know. But there are jokes and stories and love and admiration that goes on without me and I wasn't a part of it, really. And I was just there. I wasn't expecting everyone to climb all over me and be excited to see me because they just saw me two weeks ago, but to me it was just awkward around everyone. I have two lives and it's becoming more apparent as to which one is in focus, with the other encompassing blurry figures in the distance. My life at school and my friends at school are becoming more established and concrete friends (who will attend by wedding...or at least the reception) and the people back home are becoming closer to one another and not me. And it's all understandable and inevitable, but it was a nice wake up call. Should be interesting to see what happens once people are actually away, ya know? I'll be at Geneseo, Britt will probably be Upstate, Mel will too and so on. Some people just come and go. I just hope the door doesn't hit us in the ass on the way out of eachother's lives.
I really gotta pee. Like fo serious. I kinda want to hold it in until dinner time which isn't for another hour just so that I'll have something to do for the 15 minutes when I'm waiting for everyone to come. It's probably not the brightest idea, but for now my bladder has staying power.
I'd like to go to the Regina Spektor concert in May. It's only Atlantic City and Sam said that she'll go with me, so that's at least one.
Nothing too new going on in this lifetime. Maybe my next one will actually mean something.
Peace. Love.
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