Make it go away without a word.

Ernest Hemingway did not want to live the way his parents did. How profound is that? Simple, yet it rings true for everyone. In a younger generation we look upon our parents and realize that we don't want to be like them. Suffer like they do. I think we all romanticize what our futurues will hold. That somehow, we won't be a spitting image of them, and we'll do something with ourselves beyond anyone's imagination. I like to think that I'll travel the world, speak a new language and be truly happy. No, I won't wind up working ,with a husband and three kids in suburbia, driving an SUV to soccer practice. While that life is nice in its own way, and there's nothing wrong with it, it's not meant for me. It's fun to look upon someone like Hemingway and see how he did not conform to the standards of his parents. When they told him to go to Harvard, he ran away from home and eventually wound up in Paris becoming an influential writer. Granted, he did commit suicide...ehh....

I have a new love. A new hero. Someone that I look up to and think is the most amazing person ever...at least at Hofstra...who is not a student or professor. His name is Mervius. Oswald Mervius. On that principle alone, you should love him too. He is a financial aid counselor here and I have spoken to him twice in the past two days. Yeah, he's my friend. He fixed my "pending" Stafford Loans and gave me some work study stuff. And he's really smart and nice. Yeah, he's my buddy. I told Matt that he was my best friend after gave me permission to eat and Matt said that I have something "for the negroes." hah. Well, despite his skin color and name awesomeness, he handles my money and he takes care of me(umm...sounds bad in that context). Karen knows who he is and when she went to financial aid with me today, we were both hoping I was called by Oswald...oh, fate. We're gonna run away to Canada and drink beer and do financial things. Yeah. Yeah....

So I'm really likin' my new class of The Lost Generation. Funny how that's its name, yet we're learning why they really aren't the lost generation. I love the discussions. I am a nerd and I get off on others' opinions about literature, and there was debate on Hemingway's style of writing. I actually participated which I usually don't do...I was proud. I love, love, love English and I want this class to last all semester, not just three weeks. The reading is crazy, but I like it. I want to nap in that class, but it does interest me like hella mucho. Yeah. Yeah....

I had an odd dream last night. I lived in this apartment in New York City, across the street from these Indian-type buildings. There was a stark white building with a gold roof, and another building had a playground on the roof, but the toys and shit were fancy...all Indian royalty? I don't know. Anywho, I had a great view of these buildings, and I often got strangers who wanted to view the buildings from my window. I allowed them to do so and I had this one family, father and son, to look at the buildings. Well. They wanted my apartment to view their heritage every morning when they woke up, so they had Tobie replicas to confuse us. Basically, I let Tobie out to pee and when I went to let him in, a wannabe black lab came trotting in. Except he had brown on his face and had a horse's tail. I was talking to the dog until I realized, Hey, this isn't Tobie! So I went outside to get my actual dog, and there was a whole yardful of wannabe Tobies with horse tails. Tobie was lost in the swarm of black fur (that's what she said) so I had a hard time pulling him out. The bastards were sabotaging my life by taking my dog. They took Tobie hostage and demanded my apartment for the dog back. Well, I never liked Tobes that much anyway, so I let him get shot in the head. No, I wouldn't let that happen. I don't remember exactly how it ended, but I'm sure John Lennon, Reptar and a whole lotta duct tape intervened.

I should start reading. I have like two-hundred pages to read. arghness.

peace bitchezz.

"I can't stand it to think my life is going so fast and I'm not really living it."

-Robert Cohn, The Sun Also Rises