The thorn twist in your side.

Have you ever driven down a busy road and passed an old lady bundled in her winter clothes, walking home and carrying her groceries? It's one of the most heart wrenching things to watch as far as I'm concerned. Most heart wrenching is the lost doggies on the busy roads who are scared and don't know what to do. But I saw the old chick today on my way to the bank and it made me sad. I wanted to pull over and pick her up, take her to the bank with me and then home and feed her and pet her. Maybe she'd feed me (most old women can cook really well) and I'd name her and let her sleep at the end of the bed. My parents and Melany could look after her when I go back to school. Oh, we'd be the best of friends. Granted, she probably has a family somewhere and they might miss her...she was theirs first. But did you ever want to pick them up or at least pull over and ask them if they needed help or something? I always come so close to asking if they want a ride but then I think that the feeble old woman is actually a spry young man waiting for a nice, sexy, wonderful, big hearted and slightly naive eighteen year old college freshman (as myself) to pick him up...and then attack. I'd be oblivious until I looked over and noticed a five o'clock shadow and erection. Even then I might let "her" get away with it...old people have weird problems. This all reminds me of going to the doctor with Melany today. Her doctor has a lot of old patients, and we were the only ones without dried up rivers (wrinkles) on our faces and boobs that stayed above the belly button (that goes for the men there, too). They were all sweet (yet sick which ruined the sentiment with every senior citizen hack and cough) and I wanted to talk to them and ask them what it was like to be alive during the Great Depression. Think, this is basically the last generation alive to know what it was like during the Depression and WWII, perhaps WWI. I'm pretty sure I'm one of the only peeps that I know that'd want to chill with an old person and ask them about their lives. Freaks. But I was touching old people coats, staring at old people faces and listening to old people banter. I loved it, yet felt really guilty for walking at a fast pace and with all of my teeth.

I went back to the library today and I took out House of Sand and Fog and two movies, 'The Producers' and 'Running with Scissors.' I figure they'll keep me busy during the hours when I have no socialization due to lack of an automobile. I knocked out the last book and three movies in two days, so I hope this will keep me occupied for three days (this book has an extra one hundred pages). I believe I won't be in such a funny mood after finishing this book. I don't think it has as much humor as Possible Side Effects and I'll be in a mild depression until I can get my hands on Dry. I've been wanting that book since about a month ago and the library "has it" but I can't find it. Fuckin-a.

Melany's appendix might explode any day now. That's cool. It's like my own medical show on TLC...I have problems with my uterus, she with her appendix, my mom needs testing and my dad had a cancer scare a few months back, and my dog is psychotic and needs to have a piece of his brain removed. Yeah. It's great. I feel I am now qualified for my MD license.

Andrew and I decided that at 11:45 pm, going to Shorefront Park would be a stupendous idea. I drove out to Medford to pick him up then drove back to Patchogue and went on the swings. It was serene and peaceful by the bay with no one around and the sky filled with stars. The water was eerie and at one point, you couldn't tell where the water ended and the sky began. It felt like any second a creepy man was gonna jump out of the water and take advantage of Andrew while I ran away screaming. We were chillin on the swings and talking, when, around 12:30am, a man in a jogging suit and loud music, runs up to the playground. It was fucking creepy and he stared at us like we were freaks for being there so late. That or he was surprised that we were there. I was only a tad freaked out, and we went to Peppermint Park and I felt much safer being near a gas station and a lethal road. The swings at Peppermint work much more efficiently and I loved them. I also let Andre in on a little secret...and he said that I was a tabby cat living in house. =)! I'd like to go back to the swings but I, once again, have no car and by the time I get to Shorefront by foot, I will a) have been raped and b) it will be dark and walking back in the dark (being as luscious as I am) will be bad news. I'm a swinging whore (a whore for swings, not a swinger...dumb dumb) and I think I miss them the most about being home. The first time being on the swings since June was when Billy came home a few days ago and we went to Shorefront around midnight. It was a little bit of a safer feeling to have him there as opposed to Andrew...I wonder why. Let's ponder that.

Peace.

And every time I scratch my nails down someone else's back

I hope you feel it