Every dog has its day

Once upon a time there was a puppy named Rufus who loved cookies. He loved them so much, he wanted to change his name to Cookie. Being a puppy, this was hard to do because he couldn't talk to his human owners about a name change and his mother refused to listen to such a young, immature dog about such stupidity. So, instead, Rufus decided to change his name to Cookie without anyone else knowing. When he talked to himself, he called himself Cookie, when he thought he referred to himself as Cookie and he told his other siblings (Lyla, Jelly and Timon) to no longer refer to him as Rufus, but Cookie. As Rufus--I mean Cookie-- got older, he loved cookies more and more and was so happy to own the name Cookie.

Over time, however, he did not listen to his mother or his owners when they called him by "Rufus." Afterall, it wasn't his name, right? So day by day, his masters would say "Rufus, get your food!" and he ignored them, feeling that they should call him Cookie. Cookie ignored everything that his masters told him to do and this infuriated them more than anything (even more than when Janet Jackson's nipple was revealed on television). Cookie's mom was upset with him because he wasn't being an obedient poodle like the rest of his siblings and she feared that the family would get rid of a bad poodle. Cookie and his mother fought likes cats and dogs (or dogs and dogs) for days and days, yet the only thing that changed was their hatred for one another.

Cookie continued to disobey the rules of the family--not coming when they called him Rufus and not listening to orders--and his mother got so fed up, she bit him...and this was the final straw for Cookie. On the night of February 23rd, he packed his cookies in a bag and fled away into the cold darkness, never looking back at the house that wouldn't accept him for who he really was: a cookie loving poodle.

Cookie loved being liberated and doing as he pleased. His new found friends in the alley referred to him as Cookie and he finally felt as though he was accepted for who he was. He loved his friends, but not their habit of doing crack--on eachothers' cracks nontheless--and he feared they might try to steal his cookies for drug money. Cookie hid his beloved cookies in a dirty diaper (he was desperate) and hoped that they'd never steal the shit-infested treats.

Gus, Ranger, Bubba and Cracker Jack all became desperate for more drugs. They were low on cash and to make money, they started pimping their girlfriends Molly, Fender and Xena (Cracker Jack didn't have a girlfriend if you know what I mean) but they started giving them black eyes when they didn't come home with enough cash, so the three bitches ran away for ever. The only other currency that doggie drug dealers would accept were cookies...and they knew Cookie had them. Cracker Jack threatened to kill Cookie if he didn't hand them over, but his effeminate tone of voice didn't phase Cookie; Bubba ass raped him, but Cookie loved his cookies so much, he didn't care; Ranger beat him with a hockey stick and Gus went as far as to light Cookie on fire. He had a loose asshole, bruises and was bald, but he adored the fact that he got to keep his cookies--that's the only thing that mattered.

One night the boys got fed up with Cookie's disobedient ways and gave him the ultimate torture--they injected him with crack so he'd want to use his cookies for more crack. They injected so much crack into his system (they killed a crack cat for it) that Cookie did, in fact, sell his cookies. He understood the addiction so much, that he let the boys "borrow" the cookies for crack. The crack plan worked. Crack was good. Crack was love. Crack was life. Cookie loved crack more than cookies.

Over the passing months, Cookie was a desperate druggie. He shook from withdrawals, had mangy fur, bloodshot eyes and a short fuse--he regularly beat his girlfriend Daisy and ass raped his hookers when they didn't come back to the alley with more money for crack. Cookie was a desperate dog and he needed help. He was addicted to crack and doing it on the others' cracks. He loved crack more than cookies now. Cookie decided to change his name to Crack (when he was devoted, he was devoted) because he adored it so much. Crack consumed Crack's life, and since his new name was Crack, he desired it more than ever. When friends called for him, he wanted to do crack up the whazoo. He just couldn't stop.

One week, Crack hadn't had crack for a week--and he was desperate. Crack had no money, no cookies, no one to bum it from and/or steal it from. He shook and broke out in cold sweats. Crack couldn't take it anymore. What did the desperate poodle do under such circumstances? The only thing he could do...eat himself. Afterall, he was Crack. And that's what Crack did, he ate himself whole and the poodle was never seen again.

The End.


:)
I hope it was mildly entertaining.