I'd arrest you if I had handcuffs

I almost bought handcuffs tonight at Expressions. I came so close but I decided to go for the sex dice. For one, they were cheaper and two, they'd be a tad bit more adventurous than handcuffs. Maybe when I actually have someone to handcuff to the headboard, chair and/or tree, I'll spend the $30, but for now, the sex dice are good =). Yes, Matt, call me a whore...I guess I deserve it. All I say to that is... *rolls dice* Lick my question mark. ha! Have fun with that one ya freak. Ewwww.

Andrew and Brittany (in between making out in my kitchen) have made ghetto Shirley Temples. I dont recall Shirley tasting like cereal. Imagine Trix as drinkable and blood red...and there's their version of Shirley Temples. I would not be surprised if they slaughtered babies and wrung them out to dry in the cups and ate the skins. Ew. They gross me out. They're all like "Ewww, I hate you! Touch me now." G-rossness. Apparently they're sharing a bed tonight while the parental units are away in Pennsylvania. I will piss my pants if they come back early tomorrow morning and they find Britt and Andrew nestled nakey together in their bed =) Granted, I'll be slapped, but I'll laugh through my tears because that would just be funny....yes, the image is disturbing, but the idea of my parents' jaws dropping? Pricele$$.

Redtube is my hero.

Meatspin isn't.

Oh, the lovebirds are back from their sexcapades in the kitchen. Brittany went in the bathroom to spit the semen out and Andrew went in my parents room to hide his remote? I dont know what that means. Eh, he did buy sex dice too so maybe he had to kiss her nipples or he had to massage her lips....the ones on her face you nasty hos.

I want to go to Hooters. Werd.

My song is love.