I was down at the New Amsterdam

Well, well, well. I've been productive. Not really because I haven't started the paper that's due on Monday, but I have been doing stuff in other ways. Thursday night, Andrew came to Hofstra and it was fun from the start. We went to Stop & Shop and we got lots and lots of goodies--Jones soda, cookies, ice cream, pink lemonade, grape soda, Doritos, and Christmas cards. We didn't consume the Christmas cards though. Andrew was all mushy and bought Britt a random card and that was really sweet. Dumb, yet mushy. We brought all of our food home and sat on my bed and ate awesomely delish junk food and talked about random stuff. My favorite part is when Allie came back from dinner and she was still a little tipsy from the wine she had and was talking about this little girl's deformed middle finger--apparently it's like three times bigger than the average middle finger--and she found it hilarious. Allie was going on and on about how she was trying not to laugh at the little girl and thinking about the things wrong with having a finger that large such as nail polish consumption. Andrew added his two cents:

Andrew: What size ring [would] you wear?
Me: Funions.

It was absolutely hilarious and he couldn't breathe. Mean, but it was a Gemini moment fo sho. Later I felt fat and we walked around campus at 1am in the cold weather for a bit and then we fell asleep...in my bed, not in a pile of wet leaves outside. The arrangement for that was funny too because we shared a bed and my face was by his feet and at some point in the morning I woke up to his hairy legs and I thought I next to Chewbacca. I'm slightly scarred for life and will never think of his ankles the same way again.

We got to the city and hung out for four hours until the MOMA was free. Our day started off with gyros!! How much better could life get? The gyro wasn't half bad for not being from The Old Olive Tree and we smelt of fat people, as Britt would say. Maybe I smelt like a fat whore who enjoyed onions and feta and yogurt sauce, but I enjoyed it. Fuck you, Palma. Andrew and I made our aliases Kate and Willy (I wonder why). Then we walked about twenty blocks and just hung out. We went into St. Patrick's Cathedral which was gorgeous but it made me sad. I wanted to dedicate a candle to my grandma, but I had to pay $2. Since when do you have to pay to dedicate a candle to the dead? It's bull sheeeeet. I love old churches and cathedrals (even though I'm not religious) because the ambiance is so calm and safe. I lived out my childhood fantasy and finally got to visit The American Girl store. Good stuff. We went to the NBC store and I got a poster with Dwight on it!!!!! I could have died. If any of you almost faithful readers out there want to love me even more, get me a Dwight bobble head!! Andrew and I even saw the tree and all that shit, too. The MOMA was whatevs--I'm apparently not one for "art" consisting of a blank white piece of paper hanging on the wall, nor do I love "art" made of rope hanging from the ceiling. I don't understand modern art...so sue me.

Getting home was dick because Willy and I made it to Hempstead around 7 and the next Blue Beetle wasn't coming until 8, so we took a redonk cab to the campus. It was scary and dirty and dark and I felt like old fecal matter caked on to the rim of a toilet seat after being in that cab. Andrew and I encountered a homeless guy in Hempstead (no diggity) and he wanted us to buy him food. Granted he and I looked rich in our pea coats and kempt clothes, but we couldn't afford to buy this dude food. He made a checklist of what's wrong with his life and it sounded like he was reading off a prepared list from his mind. I'm sure underneath his dirty clothes he had on a a tux from Versaci and he was going to take his lady friend Barbara out for a spin in his limo around Manhattan and then make sweet love to Barbara and her friend Corrine in his penthouse. I'm hoping that was the scenario, otherwise I won't be able to sleep very well knowing he is cold and hungry. But shyeah, the cab ride was g-ross and I felt like a dirty adult diaper. On my way to Patchogue, 'No one' came on twice and I rolled my eyes. I just can't escape the song. I'm starting to think it's a conspiracy against me. Played backwards 'No one' is the music played when one enters the gates of hell.

As of now I am home and I'm going to take a shower and put my clothes in the dryer and then get some much needed sleeeeep. Tomorrow I go to Brooklyn to do research at Fulton Street Mall. Not. I have a bridal shower to go to. It should be fun but this fucking paper will be poking at my brain all day. It's such a pain in the ass. Cunt rags!! I shake an angry fist (and I did it without the asterisks). *snickers* ;p

My heart is broke ButI have some glueHelp me inhaleAnd mend it with youWe'll float aroundAnd hang out on cloudsThen we'll come downAnd have a hangover